My Non-Apology

Dear World, I'm terribly sorry that my existence is such an inconvenience to you. NOT! I would gladly leave you all to your gluttony, greed, and hate. Unfortunately, much to our mutual chagrin, I am not done yet. Sincerely, NoOneSpecial

Easily Offened By People Being Offended By You?

Here's an idea for trolling nationalist, racist, homophobic assholes who don't realize just how offensive they are and comment about their bigoted disdain for others on public forums. Commenter: I'm so tired of how sensitive people are! I wish ppl would just get a grip! Me: Your god sucks. It created sensitive ppl and bigots like you. Now, how's it feel?

Right to Refuse Service

Research

Anti-vaxxers flock to their Facebook pages and forums seeking advice whenever they feel threatened by anyone about their untenable position on vaccines which endangers them and everyone around them.

They always start their rant with the assertion that they have arrived at their conclusion through much "research" done on their part which has convinced them that vaccines are a conspiracy to kill them and install a fascist dictatorship over the world.

They then ask their groups for links to their "research" with which to battle the dark forces of evil.

Defending the Rights of Others

Maybe I'm confused. Could someone please explain to me exactly how ensuring the rights of any oppressed group or groups is detrimental to the rights of anyone... except, perhaps, the oppressors?

Three Men and the Devil

Three men, a philosopher, a mathematician and a carpenter, were out riding in the car when it crashed into a tree. The three men soon found themselves standing before the pearly gates of Heaven, where St. Peter and the Devil were standing nearby. "Gentlemen," the Devil started, "Due to the fact that Heaven is now overcrowded, St. Peter has agreed to limit the number of people entering Heaven. If anyone of you can ask me a question which I don't know or cannot answer, then you're worthy enough to go to Heaven; if not, then you'll come with me to Hell." The philosopher then stepped up, "OK, give me the most comprehensive report on Socrates' teachings." With a snap of his finger, a stack of paper appeared next to the Devil. The philosopher read it and concluded it was correct. "Then, go to Hell!" With another snap of his finger, the philosopher disappeared. The mathematician then asked,"Give me the most complicated formula ever theorized!" With a snap of his finger, another stack of paper appeared next to the Devil. The mathematician read it and reluctantly agreed it was correct. "Then, go to Hell!" With another snap of his finger, the mathematician disappeared too. The carpenter then stepped forward and said, "Bring me a chair!" The Devil brought forward a chair. "Drill 7 holes on the seat." The Devil did just that. The carpenter then sat on the chair and let out a very loud fart. Standing up, he asked, "Which hole did my fart come out from?" The Devil inspected the seat and said,"The third hole from the right." "Wrong," said the carpenter, "it's from my a$$h0le." And the carpenter went to heaven.

Surrounded By Haters

How can people, southerners in particular, be so sweet yet so deranged? They swear to be followers of a prophet who taught peace and love (he was called the prince of peace, for Pete's sake) but are so consumed by hate that they can't see that their physical and moral poverty is killing them!

I KNOW I'm not alone in my dismay but it is terribly lonely making nice with these... people... who surround me knowing that they are profoundly ugly behind the facade the project.