People Person

I used to think I'd make a great people person... until I met some.

Not The Same

A Cautionary Tale

I felt fine until I visited the physician.
The End.

Respect Your Elders

Before you go disrespecting me, keep in mind that I probably own computers that are older and work better than you.

Boo!

Facebook Games: 101

For those of you who think that Facebook Games are fun and harmless, this is basically how they work.

When you accept their terms of service, you agree to give them access to ALL of your personal information and all the public information of everyone on your friends list. You also grant them permission to post on your timeline and send messages to your friends on your behalf.

Then they get you hooked on their zombie food and when you impulsively want to continue to the next level, you either have to abstain from their "drug" for a set period of time before proceeding or grant them permission to send invitations to all of your friends.

Their hope, of course, is that you will have ZERO self control and DEMAND IMMEDIATE GRATIFICATION and allow them to spam all of your friends.

The objective, of course, is DATA MINING! If you haven't figured it out yet, let me enlighten you: NOTHING IN LIFE IS FREE and ON FACEBOOK YOU ARE THE COMMODITY BEING BOUGHT AND SOLD! So, when you can't control your impulses, you are, in effect, selling out your friends and family... all because of your ZOMBIE FOOD ADDICTION.

Facebook is simply doing what they do. But YOU should be ashamed of yourself if you have such lack of self control that you are willing to sell out everyone you know. You are just as bad as a crack head!

Flipboard Breaks

Flipboard recently updated their app and it now flips stories to the wrong magazines on two different Android phones. I haven't tried my Android tablet because it doesn't matter; my phones are my primary devices.

I reported it to support@flipboard.com. An auto responder informed me that my message was received and that someone would be in touch. The next day I received an form letter instructing me to report it through the app. Frankly, the auto responder could have saved me a day and gave me this information.

If this is how Flipboard does business, I think I'll return my efforts to paper.li.

The Race Card

Why does this upset so many people?

Anti-vaxxer Bomb

Law and Order: SVU, on Wednesday, April 8, 2015, had an episode that dropped a truth bomb on anti-vax conspiracies exposing the walking biological weapons and the nuts who make them for exactly what they are - careless kooks with no concept of the harm the wreak on society.

A Brother's Gotta Eat!

My Non-Apology

Dear World, I'm terribly sorry that my existence is such an inconvenience to you. NOT! I would gladly leave you all to your gluttony, greed, and hate. Unfortunately, much to our mutual chagrin, I am not done yet. Sincerely, NoOneSpecial

Easily Offened By People Being Offended By You?

Here's an idea for trolling nationalist, racist, homophobic assholes who don't realize just how offensive they are and comment about their bigoted disdain for others on public forums. Commenter: I'm so tired of how sensitive people are! I wish ppl would just get a grip! Me: Your god sucks. It created sensitive ppl and bigots like you. Now, how's it feel?

Right to Refuse Service

Research

Anti-vaxxers flock to their Facebook pages and forums seeking advice whenever they feel threatened by anyone about their untenable position on vaccines which endangers them and everyone around them.

They always start their rant with the assertion that they have arrived at their conclusion through much "research" done on their part which has convinced them that vaccines are a conspiracy to kill them and install a fascist dictatorship over the world.

They then ask their groups for links to their "research" with which to battle the dark forces of evil.

Defending the Rights of Others

Maybe I'm confused. Could someone please explain to me exactly how ensuring the rights of any oppressed group or groups is detrimental to the rights of anyone... except, perhaps, the oppressors?

Three Men and the Devil

Three men, a philosopher, a mathematician and a carpenter, were out riding in the car when it crashed into a tree. The three men soon found themselves standing before the pearly gates of Heaven, where St. Peter and the Devil were standing nearby. "Gentlemen," the Devil started, "Due to the fact that Heaven is now overcrowded, St. Peter has agreed to limit the number of people entering Heaven. If anyone of you can ask me a question which I don't know or cannot answer, then you're worthy enough to go to Heaven; if not, then you'll come with me to Hell." The philosopher then stepped up, "OK, give me the most comprehensive report on Socrates' teachings." With a snap of his finger, a stack of paper appeared next to the Devil. The philosopher read it and concluded it was correct. "Then, go to Hell!" With another snap of his finger, the philosopher disappeared. The mathematician then asked,"Give me the most complicated formula ever theorized!" With a snap of his finger, another stack of paper appeared next to the Devil. The mathematician read it and reluctantly agreed it was correct. "Then, go to Hell!" With another snap of his finger, the mathematician disappeared too. The carpenter then stepped forward and said, "Bring me a chair!" The Devil brought forward a chair. "Drill 7 holes on the seat." The Devil did just that. The carpenter then sat on the chair and let out a very loud fart. Standing up, he asked, "Which hole did my fart come out from?" The Devil inspected the seat and said,"The third hole from the right." "Wrong," said the carpenter, "it's from my a$$h0le." And the carpenter went to heaven.

Surrounded By Haters

How can people, southerners in particular, be so sweet yet so deranged? They swear to be followers of a prophet who taught peace and love (he was called the prince of peace, for Pete's sake) but are so consumed by hate that they can't see that their physical and moral poverty is killing them!

I KNOW I'm not alone in my dismay but it is terribly lonely making nice with these... people... who surround me knowing that they are profoundly ugly behind the facade the project.

Institutionalized Racism in America

President Obama: Sign an executive order to help end discriminatory and violent policing http://act.colorofchange.org/sign/execorder/

My optional comment is as follows:

As a white Missourian and a former St. Louis resident and mayoral appointee, I am ashamed of the overt racism exhibited by residents here. And it is obvious to me that institutionalized racism, bigotry, and hate is at the root of the ignorance exhibited by its citizenry. Allowing it to continue without consequence is tantamount to condoning it.

You Can Now Easily Send Encrypted Texts to Anyone, and the NSA Is Gonna Hate It

You Can Now Easily Send Encrypted Texts to Anyone, and the NSA Is Gonna Hate It 

​

Image: ​Open WhisperSystems

The NSA is not thrilled about the fact that encrypted communications are becoming easier and more widespread than ever before. Its director, Admiral Mike Rogers, said as much last week during a cybersecurity event in Washington, D.C., where he joined the FBI in asking for a “legal framework” by which government agencies can insert backdoors into commonly used communications software.

So chances are, NSA and co. are not going to like Si​gnal, a cross-platform app that now lets you send encrypted text, picture and video messages to virtually anyone with a smartphone.


The free app is made by Open Whisper Systems, makers of TextSecure and Redphone, which allow Android users to send end-to-end encrypted texts and calls, respectively. That means that short of someone hacking your phone and stealing your encryption keys, no one—not even the app's
creators—can eavesdrop on your calls and texts.

Read more...

Tips From The Capitalist Playbook #1

To prove a problem does not exist, deny, deny, deny. When proven beyond doubt, blame someone else. If that doesn't work, buy the investigators or court. If all else fails, have your purchased politicians change laws regulating it and pay someone to take the blame for past infractions.

Pox Parties

My mom used to jokingly tell me to go sit in the highway and play with razor blades and matches. And everyone knew she was kidding.

But she never intentionally placed me in harm's way... and did everything in her power to protect me from harm!

My father worked for the Health Department during the 60's when the government was trying to vaccinate all children against serious childhood diseases and I was fortunately well informed on the subject as a result at an early age.

South Park episode 24 parodies parents who have "pox parties" to protect their children. Sadly, people today are that stupid! Kyle and the gang hilariously retaliated against their parents by paying a hooker $5 to expose them all to herpes.

I believe that if you refuse to vaccinate your children because of misinformation you have read on the internet or heard from your trailer park friends you are stupid. If you intentionally expose your child to any disease you are guilty of child endangerment, should be charged with a felony, and your child (ren) should be removed for their own safety.

The ONLY reason a child is not vaccinated should be if TWO doctors confirm that a child is intolerant of a vaccination or its ingredients.

PROOF God Exists

Post Humorously

Researching another topic altogether, I came across this startling use of the word posthumously:

Nicholas Schmidle, whose narrative account of the death of Osama bin was completed without ever interviewing any members of SEAL Team 6, posthumously wrote an article entitled “In the Crosshairs’’ in The New Yorker.

Posthumously means “after death.” An article may be published posthumously, but writing one posthumously would be quite a feat.

Absolutely amazing!

The New Congress

They said "NO" for six years. Now, they're saying, "Let's waste time and energy on anything but security, jobs, health care, or basically anything that helps Americans in general. Oh, and let's bring back the dark ages!"

I Thought Kids Were Ditching Facebook

I get it. Facebook pretty much sucks. And primarily because it has been commercialized to the point that everyone and their great-grandparents believe they must have an account lest they miss sharing their pet's first poop... or the latest sale at Wal-mart.

Perhaps I'm easily peeved, but it galls me when a person who has just taken the training wheels off of their thinking cap calls my comment on national news "dumb". Not that they aren't entitled to an opinion on the subject at hand. But calling anyone dumb just shows a profound lack of emotional development.

And, like it or not, I am in a unique position to have informed opinions on national and international debates, whether you agree with them or not. Aside from the fact that I was wiring spaghetti boards (look it up) and coding Cobal and Fortran (again, look it up) before many of your parents were out of diapers, I had the distinct dis-privilege of working around some very unpleasant people in a very dark world where, they say, your right to be an ignorant, privileged, know-it-all prick is protected.

So, if you don't want to be disrespected, don't disrespect me... oh, and don't be stupid.

The Sound Of Thunder

A small boy is woken by a huge crash of thunder. He runs into his parents’ room, where his father comforts him. ‘Don’t be afraid of the thunder,’ he says. ‘It’s just a noise that God makes when someone tells a lie.’ ‘But why is it thundering now?’ asks the boy. ‘It’s the middle of the night and everyone is asleep.’ I know,’ replies father. ‘But it’s around this time that they start to print the newspapers.’

A panda bear walks into a bar

A panda bear walks into a bar and orders a sandwich.

The waiter brings him the sandwich. The panda bear eats it, pulls out a pistol, kills the waiter, and gets up and starts to walk out.

The bartender yells for him to stop.

The panda bear asks, "What do you want?"

The bartender replies, "First you come in here, order food, kill my waiter, then try to go without paying for your food."

The panda bear turns around and says, "Hey! I'm a Panda. Look it up!"

The bartender goes into the back room and looks up panda bear in the encyclopedia, which read: "Panda: a bear-like marsupial originating in Asian regions. Known largely for its stark black and white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves."

Antivax University

Dear Antivaxxers,
The reason you are ridiculed is that you exemplify the Dunning-Kruger effect, which, as put by Daniel R. Hawes, describes the phenomenon whereby “people fail to grasp their own incompetence, precisely because they are so incompetent“. In other words, people who know the least about a subject tend to think they know the most.

Not because there is some kind of conspiracy against you.

Never Mind

A guy goes into a bar and asks the bartender if he wants to hear a good Arkansas joke.

The bartender says, "Before you tell it, you should know that I am 6-2 and weigh 225 and I'm from Arkansas. See that guy at the end of the bar? He's 6-4 and weighs 250 and he's from Arkansas, too. And see the guy at the other end of the bar? He's 6-6 and weighs 280 and he's from Arkansas, too! Now, do you still want to tell your Arkansas joke?"

The guy says, "Nah."

To which the bartender smiles and says, "What's the matter? Are ya chicken?"

The guy says, "Nah. I just don't want to have to explain it three times."

Just Kidding

Wife: "How would you describe me?"
Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."
Wife: "What does that mean?"
Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot."
Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"
Husband: "I'm just kidding!"

Vaccination

Silly woman on the news who doesn't understand why children should "bare the burden" of immunization.

Because they are the ones in the institutional disease breeding cauldrons called "public school". Don't want to be a responsible citizen and protect ALL children? Stay away from the rest of us.

Morons.

Guantanamo Geronimo

So, Tom Cotton - and apparently the entire right wing fringe - wants to rendition yet more people to an illegal holding facility and hold them without charge or trial or due process until they rot.

No wonder the rest of the world hates the United States.

And before you hand me that "he's a soldier" shit, I'm a Marine. So, I have as much authority on the subject as he does- perhaps more! (Note the lower case s and the capital M).

http://crooksandliars.com/2015/02/tom-cotton-there-are-too-many-empty-beds

Commercials

McDonald's is running commercials trying to convince us that their food is healthy and their ego is "small". Nice try. I ain't lovin it... nor buying it.

Sports

Please don't get me started. Neanderthal's pandering to the lowest common denominator of society. And, apparently, that's pretty low... and a LOT of them.

American Sniper

Dusty Smith gives it to you in five minutes.

 

http://youtu.be/dimU4Rv7f_Q

If you paid to see this movie, you're a moron or morally bankrupt.

Propaganda Of Fear

"It is part of the general pattern of misguided policy that our country is now geared to an arms economy which was bred in an artificially induced psychosis of war hysteria and nurtured upon an incessant propaganda of fear." - General Douglas MacArthur, May 15, 1951

American Sniper

I'm a Marine. I have a high regard for the value of a well trained and well placed sniper.

But I'm getting sick of hearing about this movie and Chris Kyle. I don't really blame Kyle. Psycho's can't really help their psychopathy. I blame his superiors... all the way up to the white house!

As any true warrior will tell you, war is ugly. It's usually avoidable if it weren't so heavily greed driven. But those who must do it for those who can't can do so honorably. Chris Kyle is not honorable in real life. Regardless of what Hollywood tries to sell us.

Creating Monsters

Sending weapons overseas to "help" is all fun and games until you create a Hitler, Bin Laden, ISIS, or the like. STOP SUPPORTING THAT CRAP!

The Beauty of Nature 2

Do You Have To Vaccinate?

My opinion? No. You don't have to.

But if you don't, you can't come around me or my friends and family. You can't go to any public place that me, my family or friends go to. I don't even want to see you at my doctors office or my hospital. I don't want your kids in my public school.

So, no you don't have to. I just think that your beliefs that put the lives of others at risk to serious illness or death negates any perceived right to participate in activities with the rest of us.

In other words, your disbelief in science can kill you but not the rest of us. That is your right.

Who's Dinah?

Who's Dinah and why's she blowing that horn? ]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]X

The Beauty Of Nature

Intolerance

Intolerance of intolerance is still intolerance.

The Ideal Super Bowl

My idea of the perfect super bowl is a bottomless bowl of breaded and fried shrimp undisturbed bu sporting events of any kind!